Our First Meeting

The day had come. We had an appointment to meet with a specialist and hear about our next set of options. I was so emotional leading up to this day that I had several of my closest friends and family praying over this day, appointment, and time. Their prayers still mean so much to me and the peace that God supplied was unreal. 

We drove to the Perimeter office of ACRM for our consultation. The waiting room was empty and quiet. Were we really the only people having problems in this area? We met with Dr. Denis and listened to him talk through all of the great efforts that our OB/GYN had already made. He explained that my lack of a regular ovulation didn’t mean we would never be able to have babies on our own, but that it could take years longer than most people to get pregnant. He told us that without being able to see if other parts were working properly he couldn’t tell us if we would ever be able to get pregnant on our own. 

He quickly went through a checklist of options and circled the ones that he would say would give us the most success. 

  • Keep doing what we were doing and hope it works out eventually- 1% chance of success
  • Keep trying medicine- 2% chance of success
  • IUI- 12% chance of success
  • IVF- 60% chance of success
  • Adoption- 100% chance of success

Of course with each of these there were price tags, and timelines, and at this point emotionally I wasn’t sure what we would be able to handle. 

In an hour, Dr. Denis expressed several options that would had to decided which one we wanted to walk down. The ball was in our court. What do we do now?

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After Two Years

Once we tried everything my doctor wanted to and still weren’t pregnant she referred us to two different specialists (May 2015). I decided to call the specialist where Kyle had done a medical test. When I called there was no answer. I left a voicemail but never heard back from them. I thought this was odd, but took it as a sign to not use a specialist yet. We spent the next three cycles doing no medicine, blood work, or tests. 

When we passed the two year point I called the specialist again (August 2015). Still no answer or return call. Instead of waiting or trying them again, I called the other specialist recommended by my doctor. This office answered the first time and set up an appointment immediately. 

I think the month leading up to our appointment might have been the hardest for me. I cried constantly. The thought that we needed help was devastating. Writing this now and reliving this experience has me bawling like a baby. My pride was bruised, battered, and broken. I was officially admitting that something was wrong with us and we couldn’t make a baby the way most people do. 

Romans 12 12

Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer. Romans 12:12 This verse became my constant focus. I meditated on it daily. Prayed through it continually. We had so much hope that these doctors would be able to help us start our family. We were trying to be patient during this trying time. We focused our hearts on God and prayed constantly. He was the only way I made it through most days. After 32 months of wanting a baby and 24 months of trying to have one, we were finally ready to take the next step…we needed to seek more help than we ever thought we would have to. 

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After the First Year

A year seemed to past in the blink of an eye. I made an appointment with my OB/GYN and she ran some blood work. The day she gave me the results of the blood work, I was scrolling through Pinterest and saw this verse. 

exodus 14 14

The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still. Exodus 14:14 I had read the verse before. It is when the Israelites are leaving Egypt with Moses and get to the Red Sea. They are trapped between the sea and Pharoh’s approaching army. At this point I didn’t know what God was speaking to me through this passage, but I found comfort in knowing that God was going to fight for me just like He did the Israelites. 

It had been a month since my initial blood work. The doctor informed me that I do not ovulate regularly. She wanted my husband to give a specimen sample to make sure he was healthy and started me on medicine to help me ovulate. This began the constant blood work for myself. When my mom found out how often I was getting blood taken she knew I must really want a baby. I hated needles and still don’t really like them. 

The doctor had a plan:

  1. Kyle gives a sample. If he is healthy continue on. 
  2. I try 3 cycles with medicine. If I ovulate on the medicine and still am not pregnant continue on. 
  3. We do another test called an HSG to make sure my body is healthy and open for babies. If everything looks good, continue on. 
  4. Try one more cycle of medicine. 

After these four steps (which we did all of- AND had great healthy results) if we were still not pregnant we would need to see a specialist. 

I like plans. I liked knowing the steps in the process. Being healthy was a relief, but at the same time frustrating. If we are healthy, why aren’t we pregnant? What is wrong?

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