Still Overwhelmed

Last week was a long one…

We started standardized testing (which is long, boring, and stressful), had some family drama (we all have some…no matter the family), and my emotions were on a roller coaster (I guess from the pregnancy). Friday night I was winding down for the night and asked my sweet husband to move a piece of furniture in Hannah’s room so that I could paint the room while he was at the church Saturday morning (yes, youth pastors work Saturdays, Sundays, Mondays, all days…). He was happy to help (probably so that I wouldn’t just do it myself) and immediately came in to try to figure out the puzzle to keep all of the furniture off of the walls.

After several minutes he asked me to leave the room. Not because he was mad or upset, but because I wasn’t able to help him and therefore was in the way. I left, but for some reason this triggered my emotional state. When he was done, I went into Hannah’s room, laid on the carpet, and cried. I was overwhelmed. I laid and cried quietly for 15 minutes as I prayed and questioned God. How am I supposed to raise this little girl? I want to give her the best of everything, but we have no money. Can I really do this? I don’t deserve her. I don’t deserve anything. Oh God, what are we going to do?

After I was done wallowing in her room, I climb out of the floor and into bed. “The Lord has done great things for us, and we are filled with joy.” (Psalm 126:3) I am beyond blessed, to the point of being overwhelmed with God’s grace, mercy, and blessings. I deserve nothing that I have and yet I have a Savior who intercedes for me, blesses me, makes me a co-heir in His kingdom. I have been sent an amazing husband who looks past my weaknesses and adores my strengths. My bundle of joy is healthy and coming in less than four months and I have done nothing to earn or deserve her.

psalm-126_3

I could list things for hours and never come close to naming all of the blessings God has given me or things He has done for me, but I am filled with joy at the thought of each of them!

Today, I hope you will stop and think of all of the blessing the Lord has sent your way, and maybe you too will become overwhelmed!

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2 thoughts on “Still Overwhelmed

  1. Patricia Dorsey says:

    Well said, my friend. I would imagine that virtually every woman (including Eve) have thought the same things during this emotional and physical change called pregnancy. I was 32 when I was carrying my first son. I had no clue about being the mother of an infant! I only knew 6 year olds because of my teaching experience! My brain just set into high gear to watch other mothers who came by this stage “naturally” and I read a lot. You’ll be fine. Our Lord provides wisdom and patience just when we need it. You’ll learn that like we all did. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for, aka. this blog!

    Liked by 1 person

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